Archive for the ‘Careers’ Category

DHS Suspends Smart-Looking Asian Guy Without Costume At Halloween Party

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

Smart Asian Guy?  What a stereotype...

Department of Homeland Security officials are backpedaling after a weekend costume party stirred national controversy when employees came dressed as stereotyped minorities.  First it was disclosed that a white staffer came dressed as a black prison inmate, with dreadlocks and face paint.  Today, the Associated Press reported that another staff member came dressed as a smartly-dressed Asian man, with a stylish cell phone and Japanese car.

“Here is the bottom line: People do dumb things,” DHS chief Michael Chertoff said. “I get very perturbed when there is anything that is done that suggests that we are anything other than even-handed. I have zero tolerance for racism or discrimination. We have to be tough but we have to be fair. The idea that you are going to come and impersonate someone of an ethnic group, I think, is completely unacceptable.”

The 24-year-old man in question is of Chinese descent, with his parents immigrating to the United States from Hong Kong in the 1970s.

“What the hell?” asks the man, who wished to remain anonymous.  “I wasn’t even wearing a costume!  I was just walking in to pick up my buddy Brad from the costume party, and then people started pouring their drinks on me and threshing me with bamboo sticks.  Everyone was calling me a racist and telling me to apologize to every minority I saw.  So I apologized to… myself?”

Analysts suggest that the DHS maintains extremely strict equality standards, and any suggestion of stereotyping is severely sanctioned.

“Walking into a DHS party as a racial stereotype is unacceptable, regardless if the person is part of that racial group,” says one department insider.  “It doesn’t matter if it was a joke or not — with his Honda Civic, Razr cell phone, clean-cut appearance, and boutique attire, this young man was definitely pushing the boundaries of political correctness.  The next time he goes to a party, he should think about orally reciting wrong answers to elementary math problems at the very least.”

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