‘Daylight Saving Time’ Computer Catastrophe Seemingly Ineffectual

AHH! Time went back an hour!!

Technical analysts were baffled across North America and Europe today after Daylight Saving Time (DST) came and went without the predicted computer catastrophe. After years of dire warnings and millions of dollars spent hastily on technical modernization projects, many people had hoarded dry goods and liquidated their bank accounts in preparation for an anarchy that never materialized.

“After all that hype, I’m kind of disappointed the world didn’t erupt in chaos,” posits local shoe salesman Ed Bundy from his specially constructed DST bunker burrowed below his house.

Reminiscent of the Y2K Bug at the turn of the millennium that also failed to capitalize on its horrific potential, the DST bug was implicated in supposed cataclysms like the poisoning of the public water supply and the reunification of the cast of Home Improvement for a sequel episode.

Local citizens turned back their clocks an hour at 2:00 am this morning, not knowing if they were about to unleash Armageddon.

“My hands were trembling, and there was sweat dripping off the tip of my nose,” recalls Samaritan Jackie Childs, “but when I put the clock back an hour, nothing happened. At all. I called the police to ask if there was some mistake, and they dispatched an officer to my house immediately.”

Among the worst incidents reported because of the aversion of apocalypse were:

  • airplanes full of embarrassed passengers who were randomly making out in anticipation of air traffic control failure
  • mass copies of the Star Wars prequels thrown on the streets, as people couldn’t imagine the disgrace of dying next to evidence of George Lucas’ own narcissism
  • spontaneous all-night ‘Achy Breaky’ line-dancing parties at local dance clubs

All victims will receive psychiatric counseling and coupons for McDonald’s Orange Drink.

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