‘Harry Potter’ TV Spin-off Announced In Buddy Cop Subgenre

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, cast a spell on you! Cast a spell on you when they come for you!

Only one day after announcing an illustrated book offshoot in the Harry Potter universe, author/deity J.K. Rowling today announced that a ‘buddy cop’ TV spin-off is in development featuring Harry and the incorrigible Professor Flitwick.

“I think a lot of readers really enjoyed the chemistry between Harry and the Professor during the series,” suggested Rowling, “so we wanted to grant the fans an opportunity to witness the personal interplay between these two characters in a more gritty, down-to-earth environment.”

Rowling also disclosed that discussions have been ongoing for some time regarding a franchised ‘Potter’ cop drama, but earlier incarnations hadn’t met her high standard of quality.

“We were hoping to contrast Harry’s by-the-book no-nonsense white officer with a young streetwise black cop who likes to bend the rules — but I felt that formula was perhaps pushing the creative envelope a bit too far. I didn’t think the audience was ready for that tandem. So that’s when we started playing around with the idea of another internal character to pair him with.”

The new series will be set on the mean streets of Detroit, where Harry and Flitwick will routinely deal with drug crime, organized street gangs, and transgendered prostitutes. Reports suggest that he will be stripped of his magical power after a Pilates-related catastrophe.

“Harry’s trading in his wand for a magnum,” says pointless TV pundit Greasy Monkerson. “We’ve heard that he’ll be growing some stubble and spewing some street euphemisms like biznatch, mofo, and penisbreath. Also, he’ll take the loss of his powers quite hard — scenes will routinely depict him smoking a crackpipe while crying, and practicing self-mutilation. Harry, you’re a big kid now!!”

Professor Flitwick, meanwhile, will turn into the father figure many fans already thought of him as. “Flitwick will assume the role of grizzled veteran, who acts as a mentor to Harry. There are plans for groundbreaking scenes where Harry’s precociousness will cause Flitwick to say sarcastic one-liners like ‘I didn’t sign up for this’ or ‘I’m only three years to retirement and I have to deal with this shit?’. It’s groundbreaking in its genius…”

The series will run on Mondays opposite Two and a Half Men.

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One Response to “‘Harry Potter’ TV Spin-off Announced In Buddy Cop Subgenre”

  1. Audio book musings » Blog Archive » ‘Harry Potter’ TV Spin-off Announced In Buddy Cop Subgenre Says:

    […] EmmaRiddle wrote an interesting post today on ‘Harry Potter’ TV Spin-off Announced In Buddy Cop SubgenreHere’s a quick excerptOnly one day after announcing an illustrated book offshoot in the Harry Potter universe, author/deity JK Rowling today announced that a ‘buddy cop’ TV spin-off is in development featuring Harry and the incorrigible Professor Flitwick. … […]

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