CopperUxbridge, NorthernTelecom Merger Creates Awkward New Acronym

Don't put 2 and 2 together...

NorthernTelecom originally bought CopperUxbridge to provide its business with a dependable supply of highly-conductive raw material, but what it has received is a massive public outcry over the shortened name of the new combined corporation, an acronym of the previous two parent companies.

“We’d been informed by Federal regulators that we might run into some difficulties getting the acquisition approved, because of the semantic implications,” said former CU boss Jimmy Whales. “It’s an obvious fit for the businesses involved, but for some perplexing reason, people simply don’t like our new name.”

NT Chairman Peter North held similar sentiments: “Our stock has lost over 18% of its value in the past week (NYSE: VGNA), while our released earnings reports have beat analysts estimates by 87%. You’d think somebody had photos of our CEO deep-frying a goat or something… I just don’t get it.”

A recent corporate press release tried to allay the Street’s apparent worries about perceived operational deficiencies:

“While we attempt to soften-up new markets in order to prepare for proper penetration, there may be inevitable delays in hardening up our raw material base. Once lubricated, our supply chain should be able to display its utterly consistent track record, with every indication that it will all culminate in a breakthrough for our award-winning geyser servicing business.”

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2 Responses to “CopperUxbridge, NorthernTelecom Merger Creates Awkward New Acronym”

  1. marrone Says:

    hey dude, nothing wrong with that acronym, My rec soccer team in Ottawa had the same one!

  2. Michael Parkatti Says:

    Guy, that’s one soccer team I’d like to play on….!

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