ABC Wins With ‘Welcome Back, Magna Carta’

Heyyyy Mista Carta!

It looks like ABC has another smash-hit on their hands! For the week ending October 6th, ABC had the runaway ratings winner with “Welcome Back, Magna Carta”, a light-hearted revival of their 70s cultural staple “Welcome Back, Kotter”. Derided by some media pundits as being out-of-touch with contemporary television, Carta has connected with audiences looking for strong characters, early Middle English dialects, and arcane legal definitions.

Leading heartthrob King John of England spoke to our John Tesh on the set at Runnymede:

Tesh: So, King John — how does it feel to finally have a starring role in your own sitcom?

King John: His honnore of Engelond in mine corages, O Holy blissful Martir…

Tesh: Seriously though, signing the Magna Carta must make you pretty popular with the ladies!!

King John: Thoughst fowle swyne! Ney bathed euery veyne in swich licour.

Tesh: Up high JohnnyBoy!

Perhaps one of the most endearing aspects of the series is that it treats its audience as intellectual peers. The episode that established the legacy of Habeas Corpus has been particularly well-received by audiences, who overwhelmingly sympathized with Baron Blackwell’s ripped abs.

Cultural leader Bill Twirp has his own opinions on the series however: “What the hell am I supposed to take away from a group of British aristocrats meeting 800 years ago in a field? It’s the same shit every week — and am I the only one who doesn’t understand a word of dialog? It’s like I’m listening to Gretta Van Susteren after she had her tongue cut off.”

Show runners are mum about the direction for the series, but it’s widely speculated that Magna Carta’s character may find a love interest in the new year. “We’re playing around with some concepts,” says Executive Producer Colonel Anus, “maybe bringing in the Declaration of Independence, or the original lyric sheet for The Beatles’ ‘Yesterday’, or the pilot script from Family Ties… we certainly have a lot of options, but we have to be careful not to lose our audience in a romantic subplot. The two should just have natural chemistry.”

Popularity: 19% [?]

Email This Post    Share on Facebook

One Response to “ABC Wins With ‘Welcome Back, Magna Carta’”

  1. kathem alsaher Says:

    kathem alsaher…

    Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin…..

Leave a Reply