Internet Now Cool, Nerds Told to ‘Get Lost’

Hey Nerds, Beat It!!

An alarming conclusion was reached today by a consortium of international sociologists, cultural icons, and demure hipsters: the Internet is finally cool. Coaxed on by the popularity of social networking site Facebook, enough normal red-blooded cool people have checked into the web to deem it socially acceptable. As a result, there are resounding calls worldwide for all nerds to cease and desist their activity on the web, and find something else to do.

Local superhunk Guy Awesome let his will be known on his high school’s Facebook Group ‘Lee Valley High Rulezzzz Shaka Jock Aktion 4Life’, saying that “if I see any of you toolz on ‘dis group, Im so seriuzly goin ta splode all ova yo ass, sliatch! Get LOST!” His show of solidarity caused his classmates to nominate his board post for a state literature grant.

Pointdexters across the planet are now wistfully wondering what their next move will be. Nerd leader Yick Yu seemed almost nostalgic while reminiscing, “I mean, I thought this whole Internet thing would be our permanent sanctuary — photochopping Captain Picard collages, debating whether Bigfoot bears live young or simply reproduces asexually like the Gremlins, or masturbating to actual porn instead of episodes of Trading Spaces… and now it’s all gone forever.”

In a completely unrelated story, it was reported that all Internet sites are now ‘broken’. A mysterious disappearance of anyone who has any idea what happened is apparently to blame. Without Facebook, hoards of jocks resorted to prank MSN Messenger conversations and posting drunk pictures of their buddies dressed as Thai hookers on HotOrNot.

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2 Responses to “Internet Now Cool, Nerds Told to ‘Get Lost’”

  1. TomB Says:

    What happened to the video.
    GREAT sit. Keep up the good work!!

  2. TomB Says:

    I meant “site”

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