CN Tower Surpassed, World Decides to End

Towers continue their inevitable evolution to dildo-like proportions

Citizens worldwide were struck with violent fits of depression after learning that the CN Tower in Toronto had been surpassed in height by the under-construction Burj Dubai (pictured centre) in the UAE yesterday. Since its construction in 1976, the 553 metre tall symbol of enduring freedom has held the title of the world’s tallest free-standing structure. It become somewhat of a cult symbol in Canada, with its daily rituals and ceremonies causing some to liken it to the Wailing Wall in Isreal.

“I feel like one of Jesus’ disciples after the crucifixion,” said one local bohemian, “what the fuck am I going to do now?”

Some experts speculate that, like the Christ, the CN Tower may rise from the dead to take back the title. “We can’t rule out the possibility that the CN Tower has supernatural powers, and could potentially get upset enough to entallen itself,” says local architecture savant, Phallus Interuptus. When asked whether entallen was, in fact, a legitimate English word, Mr. Interuptus pointed to a fire hydrant and said, “holy shit, what the hell is that!?”, and attempted to fly off under his own command.

Civic leaders are not letting the Arabs savour their victory too much — plans were announced by City Hall to create the world’s smallest building. A suitable parcel of land to house the new centre of international worship (dubbed the CNothing Tower) has not yet been identified, but an exhaustive search is underway. Much like Buddhists picking a new Dalai Lama, city officials are showing everyday tokens of the CN Tower to potential re-incarnies, hoping that one can correctly identify the rightful idols.

More details to follow…

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2 Responses to “CN Tower Surpassed, World Decides to End”

  1. TomB Says:

    Michael,
    I live in Abu Dhabi and work in Dubai.
    I pass that building twice a day. It really is BIG!
    They have two construction cranes on top. Would not want to be the operators on those cranes…long fall!
    TTL,
    Tomb

  2. Smallest Penis Says:

    Smallest Penis…

    If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?:)…

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